Duke Nukem 64

Duke Nukem 64 is yet another instalment in the wondrous adventures of Duke Nukem, Earth’s best gun totin’, gum chewin’, alien killin’ hero. After returning from single-handedly destroying an alien empire, he crash-lands on earth, which is infested by alien hybrids! Duke must blast his way through tons of aliens, puzzles, and general danger. Along the way, he has to save “babes” which are basically just women who have been restrained by the aliens in some way.

The gameplay in Duke Nukem is great, and easily the best aspect of the game. It’s full of action from start to finish, and there is a large amount of violence(enough to make Giovanni go “ewwwwww” and look away).

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

Note: All graphics and sound ratings will take into account the fact that it’s for PlayStation.

Crash Bandicoot was one of the first games I ever played, the first game I ever beat, and probably is the cause for my high expectations in video games. Crash Bandicoot is about, you guessed it, a bandicoot. But, this bandicoot can kick some serious tail, seeing as he was mutated by Cortex in the first game. This is his second game on the Playstation, and his best one so far. The story is as follows: Crash is lured from his forest home, to a secret portal hub controlled by his nemesis, Doctor Cortex. He tells Crash he must retrieve the crystals from each level in order to save the world! Crash, for some unknown reason (probably the fact that he is retarded or something) accepts. You then embark on a journey through many worlds, and uncounted dangers. Crash will have to use his whole arsenal to survive. His “arsenal” is spinning, jumping, sliding, and doing belly flops.

The gameplay in Crash is great. It isn’t too complicated, and there aren’t too many things on the screen to clutter it up. The game is about average length, but you will almost certainly have to go back to levels and collect the magical gems in order to unlock the secret ending. The game is also fairly difficult, but not Nintendo hard, so as to not discourage players. The game had many bosses, and each one appears in classic fashion. These bosses increase in difficulty, but always stay fun and different.

This is also the first appearance of my favourite bad guy ever, Tiny the Tiger. Look him up, he’s cool. You are aided by Aku-Aku, the spirit of a witch doctor…which…turned into a mask somehow. He is the only way you don’t die in one hit. Unless you fall off a cliff…or into water…or are blown up by nitroglycerin. There are a lot of things that kill you, okay?